Connecting the dots

I don't know about anyone else, but being 36 has been great so far. Honestly. Far better than I could've imagined. Do you know why? Because I finally feel like all the 'dots' are connecting. All the random things that I learned about in school since, well, about 1980 are fitting together like one big puzzle. It is actually really encouraging to feel that "A-ha!" moment when you realize something for the first time and it all makes sense now. Randomness isn't gone but it isn't the 'norm' anymore either. The song that kept going through my mind this a.m. as I was in the shower was, "I wish I knew now what I knew then, when I was older..." I thought about daily growing YOUNGER instead of older. The new wrinkles, small patches on gray hair at my temples, even the small aches and pains that weren't there before assure me that I AM getting older. However, I'd like to think I can keep a young attitude and spirit. Maybe the biggest blessing was having my first child when I was 33. Seemed so old but honestly it is keeping me young, I think. :)

Mardi Gras

Today is Mardi Gras. It is making me think of Pastor Bat. I really miss him. His funeral was a week or two ago. Before the Super Bowl. He was from New Orleans and it was so neat to see all the photos from when he was growing up. I had a feeling that the Saints might win the Super Bowl and that would've just delighted him (if he even cared about football).

I also think of him because I'd never heard of a "King's Cake" until I'd met him and Christa. What a neat tradition. If I'd been thinking about it earlier, I would've baked one and brought it to school. I'm always disappointed when I miss those types of opportunities. Then again, I have to remember that God could be giving me another chance in the future.

Tomorrow starts Lent. This year, especially, it feels like Christmas just barely ended. I want to sit here and ponder the baby Jesus. To smell the hay (and other odors) of the stable. To think of Mary holding her tiny baby and treasuring up all these things in her heart. To think of Simeon and of Anna, waiting their whole lives to see the promise of a savior fulfilled. To think of hope, courage, love. To ponder how much God loved the world to enter flesh and walk, talk, sleep, eat.

I'm not ready to journey to the cross. Ironically, during Christmas vacation, I read Paul Maier's book Pontius Pilate and fell in love with it. The amazing historical and cultural insights I gained. It was as if I was looking upon God's plan and timeline with fresh eyes. Now that the time to teach this has come (at least for my 8th graders), I want to sit and rock a baby. Then again, when I started to teach about Pontius Pilate and the Passion of Jesus, I felt joy I'd never known before in teaching. I felt so filled with enthusiasm and life.

Ash Wednesday starts my own journey as well. I have set a goal of doing the T-Tapp workout during Lent. I'm so bad about being faithful to that workout, even though I know it works. I did so well with Wii Fit and then once I unlocked Advanced or Expert on the majority of the games, the interest leveled off. Sad, I know, but true. So I need to get some sleep so I have energy to do the T-Tapp workout. And then to really focus on the sacrifices that Jesus made for all of us. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes it's thrilling. Sometimes it just is.

I should be sleeping, but...

I should be sleeping, but...

There's always something else to do, right? I spend the majority of my day on my feet, on the move, NOT in front of a computer... I spend my days talking, presenting, entertaining, guiding, parenting, helping, checking, admonishing... for ME, when I get home, the computer is a nice escape. Connect with other adults. Leave behind the stresses and frustrations of the day. Share the joys and laughter of the day. It is something I really look forward to.

For my husband, he works with computers almost every day. The thrill is gone. The last thing he really wants to do when he gets home is be on the computer. If he is on the computer, it is most likely to look up something to do with sports. I'm OK with that.

I should be sleeping but I don't want to. I want to write. I want to read. I want to think. I want to justrelax. I don't want to sleep. That's what the weekend is for, right? I love weekend naps. My husband never, ever naps. So weekends he isn't up late. It seems so opposite and crazy, but I guess that's how we make it work.